Ok I’ll be honest, kissing girls while having a nut allergy is not one of my favourite topics! However it is a very, VERY important issue to cover and will undoubtedly affect you in some part of your life. Before getting into a long-term relationship, one of the scariest things about dating girls for me was kissing them. I used to literally keep myself up at night trying to think of possible scenarios around saying the ultimate mood-killing, un-romantic phrase…”Have you eaten nuts today?”. Those five words used to burden my mind so much that I honestly thought that after hearing that phrase, no girl would ever want to come near my nut-free lips!
Eventually when faced with the situation of being in a room with a girl and having your lips linger around each others, I had to say it. I didn’t want to die over not being brave enough to mutter a few pathetic syllables that would in turn save my life! When it happened for the first time, when I first asked a girl “Have you eaten nuts today?”, I made sure I was careful. I prepared the girl for the question. While talking to each other before the inevitable moment, I brought up that I had a nut allergy, carefully slipping it into the conversation and alerting her to the fact that if she had eaten nuts and subsequently kissed me, I could be in BIG trouble! After bringing up the subject, I carried on delving deeper into the topic and talking about previous situations with girls and how I had to ask them whether they had eaten nuts or not. Un-romantic I know….However, the girl responded with “don’t worry, I haven’t eaten nuts”, in a jokey and kind way. “YES!” I thought, I’ve managed to subtly ask this girl whether she’s eaten nuts or not without even asking! I won’t go on to explain the rest of the story because it’s gross, but the moral is that if you can just about pluck up the confidence to tell your partner that you have a nut allergy, then it won’t seem so hard talking about the problems and issues that come with it. Ok, so that’s my story anyway. Uncomfortable for me to say as it is, after that first time, it does get easier!
Now, although most of you (I hope!) value your life enough to ask a girl or guy whether they’ve eaten nuts before you kiss them, of course many of you (including myself on several occasions) will forget, not want to bring it up or are happy to risk it. Luckily for me, I’ve never had any serious incidents in this field, but believe me, if you’re careless enough, you probably will eventually! There will always come a time when you find yourself kissing someone and you’ve suddenly thought during or afterwards “Crap! What if they ate nuts and now I have a reaction!!!”. It’s happened to me and will probably happen to you. What i’ve done in these situations is just simply tried to be as careful as I can afterwards. Usually i’ll go and find my epipen and keep it on me (just in case). Then, if anything bad happens, you can be safe and content that you have your medicine with you. I, personally, also take a bit of solace in simply telling a friend what’s happened (just to warn them in case I drop dead!).
So, going back to my personal experiences, I have been with my girlfriend now for nearly two years and my allergy has never ever been a problem! When we first got together, we became friends and I told her that i had a nut allergy, and then when we progressed, she had the knowledge to be careful and considerate around me. Since being together for nearly two years, I still ask her whether she’s eaten nuts or touched them before we kiss, but now it’s not so bad because I feel a lot more confident and I know that she is very aware of my allergy.
Kissing a partner for the first time or even the thousandth time can still be a scary experience for us N.A.S’s. The fact that we have to make the decision whether to embarrass ourselves or protect our lives is a horrible one to make for a teen. I hope that this little insight into my experiences with the subject has brought you a bit of comfort and might help you in your experiences. And remember, everything that’s mentioned in this post and in my blog is just my opinion. I’m not telling you what to do, i’m just telling you what makes me comfortable, about my past experiences and my personal advice and thoughts.
(P.S. Also, sorry I can’t help with any breathe issues! My girlfriend still complains about mine!)