Dating with a Nut Allergy – #1 Kissing

Ok I’ll be honest, kissing girls while having a nut allergy is not one of my favourite topics! However it is a very, VERY important issue to cover and will undoubtedly affect you in some part of your life. Before getting into a long-term relationship, one of the scariest things about dating girls for me was kissing them. I used to literally keep myself up at night trying to think of possible scenarios around saying the ultimate mood-killing, un-romantic phrase…”Have you eaten nuts today?”. Those five words used to burden my mind so much that I honestly thought that after hearing that phrase, no girl would ever want to come near my nut-free lips!

Eventually when faced with the situation of being in a room with a girl and having your lips linger around each others, I had to say it. I didn’t want to die over not being brave enough to mutter a few pathetic syllables that would in turn save my life! When it happened for the first time, when I first asked a girl “Have you eaten nuts today?”, I made sure I was careful. I prepared the girl for the question. While talking to each other before the inevitable moment, I brought up that I had a nut allergy, carefully slipping it into the conversation and alerting her to the fact that if she had eaten nuts and subsequently kissed me, I could be in BIG trouble! After bringing up the subject, I carried on delving deeper into the topic and talking about previous situations with girls and how I had to ask them whether they had eaten nuts or not. Un-romantic I know….However, the girl responded with “don’t worry, I haven’t eaten nuts”, in a jokey and kind way. “YES!” I thought, I’ve managed to subtly ask this girl whether she’s eaten nuts or not without even asking! I won’t go on to explain the rest of the story because it’s gross, but the moral is that if you can just about pluck up the confidence to tell your partner that you have a nut allergy, then it won’t seem so hard talking about the problems and issues that come with it. Ok, so that’s my story anyway. Uncomfortable for me to say as it is, after that first time, it does get easier!

Now, although most of you (I hope!) value your life enough to ask a girl or guy whether they’ve eaten nuts before you kiss them, of course many of you (including myself on several occasions) will forget, not want to bring it up or are happy to risk it. Luckily for me, I’ve never had any serious incidents in this field, but believe me, if you’re careless enough, you probably will eventually! There will always come a time when you find yourself kissing someone and you’ve suddenly thought during or afterwards “Crap! What if they ate nuts and now I have a reaction!!!”. It’s happened to me and will probably happen to you. What i’ve done in these situations is just simply tried to be as careful as I can afterwards. Usually i’ll go and find my epipen and keep it on me (just in case). Then, if anything bad happens, you can be safe and content that you have your medicine with you. I, personally, also take a bit of solace in simply telling a friend what’s happened (just to warn them in case I drop dead!).

So, going back to my personal experiences, I have been with my girlfriend now for nearly two years and my allergy has never ever been a problem! When we first got together, we became friends and I told her that i had a nut allergy, and then when we progressed, she had the knowledge to be careful and considerate around me. Since being together for nearly two years, I still ask her whether she’s eaten nuts or touched them before we kiss, but now it’s not so bad because I feel a lot more confident and I know that she is very aware of my allergy.

Kissing a partner for the first time or even the thousandth time can still be a scary experience for us N.A.S’s. The fact that we have to make the decision whether to embarrass ourselves or protect our lives is a horrible one to make for a teen. I hope that this little insight into my experiences with the subject has brought you a bit of comfort and might help you in your experiences. And remember, everything that’s mentioned in this post and in my blog is just my opinion. I’m not telling you what to do, i’m just telling you what makes me comfortable, about my past experiences and my personal advice and thoughts.

(P.S. Also, sorry I can’t help with any breathe issues! My girlfriend still complains about mine!)

10 thoughts on “Dating with a Nut Allergy – #1 Kissing

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  5. I asked my boyfriend to stop eating nuts whilst we were together and he was cool about it – I never had a problem!

  6. This is such a cool blog , never seen someone blog about their allergy before ! Thank you🙂 its also really cool to hear the guys perspective is the same as mine (the girls) !

  7. I have a very severe nut allergy as well and it’s not airborne. I’ve been in situations where I’m about to kiss a guy and I’m too scared or freaked out if he just ate nuts that I just walk away. How do I not make it awkward, when I just meet a guy and ask if he ate nuts recently and telling them that I have a severe nut allergy?

    • Hi Cait, so.. This is the first time I’ve posted on here in years. Lots has changed, I’ve learnt a lot more and have much more nut-related-wisdom to give!

      So in terms of the AWKWARD KISSING issue.. I’ve actually, honestly, found it to be a great ice breaker. Now this only works in certain situations, but say you were out on a date and getting to know someone, bringing up that you have an allergy and that even kissing can be tough can come really naturally… It can even be flirty😉 e.g. “So you’re thinking of getting the pasta? That sounds really good, wish I could eat it.. The thing is it has pine nuts in it which I’m allergic to!” (Then they’ll say something like “Oh shit!” Or “Aw that’s gotta be tough”.. To which you can say ” Yeah I’ve had to deal with it my whole life, it’s pretty bad, I mean I can’t even kiss anyone without asking or knowing they haven’t even them!” Then they might say someone either like “That sounds really tough!” Or if they’re being flirty “well don’t worry…I’ll avoid the pasta then! ;)”.

      Now that’s only for dates obviously.

      The toughest situation is impulsivity, like in a bar or club. For this, my suggestion is to basically do the same… Just make it a really key part of your chat when you’re talking to them (if you feel a kiss is coming), then If it happens VERY suddenly, which it has to me on several occasions, my best advise is to be very aware of your body for the next period of time. If someone kisses you and you have an allergy, the SECOND you feel any symptoms come of a reaction, GO TO A HOSPITAL, GET HELP, USE THE EPIPEN, basic do the safest thing. Even if you’re not sure. It could be a life saver!

      Hope this helps!

      I’ll be doing a new post soon about updates in my life regarding my allergy and any more experiences I’ve had or wisdom I can share, so keep reading!


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